


Letters From the Sky

by bearpantaloons



Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Past Lives, Angst, F/F, It's the first multi-chapter story I've actually finished, i dunno man, think two parts Cloud Atlas one part Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, this is like five different stories in one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-13
Updated: 2018-09-13
Packaged: 2019-07-11 14:45:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15974498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bearpantaloons/pseuds/bearpantaloons
Summary: Cosima is introduced to Delphine as a new coworker, but there's something familiar about her. Can love transcend time and space? Cosima is about to find out.





	1. An Echo Lost in Space

**Author's Note:**

> I know I'm couple years late to the party, but better late than never.
> 
> Based off of an Orphan Black vid I watched recently: https://youtu.be/trmd3spqt3Q
> 
> Hope you all enjoy it.

_Cosima is lying down on a couch with her head gently resting on her girlfriend’s thigh. Their fingers are intertwined, but she feels slightly on edge. They’re talking about betrayal and trust, something that Cosima has been having trouble with as of late, with good reason. Her girlfriend assures Cosima that she can trust her and that what happened in the past was to protect her. The other woman looks down at Cosima and cradles her face in her hand and whispers, almost inaudibly,_

_“Je t’aime.”_

** June 2099 **

Cosima wipes the sleep from her eyes and looks over at her clock. She woke up an hour before her alarm for the fourth time this week. She’s been having dreams about faceless figures leaving her room right before she awakens, and as hard as she tries, she can’t remember her dreams. It’s as if they’re being plucked away right as she wakes up. With a grunt, she grabs her glasses and climbs out of bed to start getting ready. There’s a new employee starting today that she has to show around, so she decides she might as well go into work early, which will surely surprise her coworkers, since she’s always late to everything. The head of the company, Dr. Rachel Duncan, was away for a conference and left Cosima in charge in his stead.  She’s been working for Swan Memory Research Group (SMRG) for the past five years and has been steadily climbing up the ranks. Their research ranges from memory recall to memory insertion to Cosima’s department, memory extraction.

The company has gotten a lot of pushback from the public due to the questionable moral issues they could potentially encounter, but their board has done a good job at arguing in favor of their research. They claim that diseases such as Alzheimer’s and dementia will become things of the past within the next eight to ten years. With their technology, they can back-up a person’s memories at regular intervals and once a person is diagnosed with one of those diseases, they can insert the memories back into the person’s brain. The only thing they haven’t been able to stop is the rapid degeneration of the brain cells, but they’ve been making progress. Inserting memories back into a person’s brain has shown improvement with patients’ overall health.

Cosima’s branch, extraction, is one of the more morally ambiguous parts of the company. People go in, requesting certain memories to be removed, whether they be of a deceased pet or entire chunks of memories surrounding one particular person. The memories are then held in a database for ten years, until they are ultimately destroyed.

After having a hearty breakfast of half a banana and a granola bar, Cosima leaves for work. She gets there a little over half an hour early and starts to prepare the orientation packet for the new employee, who will be assigned to the memory recall department. As she’s sipping her coffee, there’s a knock on the door. Her coworker, Scott, walks in with a tall blonde woman trailing behind him. Cosima sees them walk in and stands up immediately. There’s something familiar about the woman, but Cosima can’t put her finger on it. She finds herself staring at the taller woman, studying her. After a minute, she hears someone else distantly calling her name and she’s shaken from her daze after Scott calls out to her repeatedly.

“Cosima! Hey, this is Delphine Cormier. She’s the new hire.”

Cosima walks up to the other two and holds out her hand. “Nice to meet you, I’m Cosima Niehaus. I’ll be in charge of your orientation today.”

“Enchantée,” Delphine replies with a very captivating French accent, shaking Cosima’s hand.

Then, a flash of an image appears. She’s running through an archway with another woman, a blonde. They’re laughing and holding wine bottles and they stop to face each other, but Cosima can’t see her face. The taller woman leans down to kiss each side of Cosima’s cheeks and then she vanishes. Scott clears his throat after watching the extended handshake. Cosima releases the thoughts from her head and releases Delphine’s hand.

“Thank you, Scott. That will be all.”

Cosima walks over to her desk and picks up a folder. She walks back and hands it to Delphine.

“This is a bunch of general information that you can read over later – security clearance stuff, when lunch breaks are, what to do if there’s a fire in your trash can. You know, the usual.” 

Delphine gives off a soft smile and flips through the folder. Inside is her security card and a company pen with a plastic brain on the top button. Cosima looks at the pen, slightly embarrassed.

“The board insists that we give those to new employees – I guess as a reminder in case you ironically forget what you’re researching. And your security card will give you access to the front lobby and your side of the building, for now. I can take you on a tour now, if you’d like.”

“That would be great,” Delphine replies. She tucks the folder under her arm and follows Cosima out of the lab room. They continue walking through various corridors and they all start looking the same. Cosima shows Delphine the rest of the extraction department and they’re even able to watch part of an extraction. A man is in a reclined seat with two smallish discs on each side of his temples. There’s a screen in front of him with images of other people, almost like a home movie, but from the man’s point of view.

“He came in to request an extraction of a mugging memory. He was having trouble coping and wouldn’t leave his house for days. He developed severe agoraphobia and paranoia and it was affecting his job. With extractions, we remove problematic memories, so that people can move on with their lives.

Delphine watches the screen and she sees another man on it with a gun pointed directly at the patient, from his perspective. There is an extraction technician at a computer in the corner of the room also watching the screen. The image then switches to a therapy session where the patient is talking about the incident. Then the screen goes black.

“We have to make sure we remove any residual memories, as well. Patients give us a list of people they’ve talked to about the particular memory that they want removed and we send out letters to all of them, requesting that they do not talk to the patient about the incident. We also have them sign contract agreements saying they won’t mention it, so in the case where someone deliberately reminds a patient of a memory, there’s legal documentation to protect both us and the patient. There is also a clean-up team that will go into the patient’s house and remove anything that may trigger the memory, such as items around the house and phone messages.”

Delphine nods. She’s not sure how ethical she thinks all of this is, but it seems to have the intention of helping people, so she decides she won’t pass judgement just yet. She and Cosima continue walking throughout the east wing and on to the memory recall wing.

“What happens if a person is reminded of a memory and starts remembering everything and then decides they want those memories back?” Delphine inquires.

“We keep memories for ten years in the event a patient changes their mind, or in case they’re needed for legal purposes. Though, we reserve the right to refuse extraction for any memories. For example, if someone knows a person who committed a crime and wanted to wipe out that knowledge, so they could have plausible deniability, that’s definitely something that we do not do.”

They stop in front of a door with a window labelled “Memory Recall Research.”

“Okay, this is you. Go ahead and try out your security card,” Cosima says.

Delphine takes out her card and swipes it in front of the sensor. The light turns green and she hears the click of the door unlocking. Cosima opens the door and both of them walk in. It’s a large lab room with a lot of high-tech equipment in it. They walk toward a thin man with brown hair, who is sitting at a table with piles of paperwork all around it.

“Fee, this is your new recall researcher, Delphine Cormier. Delphine, this is Dr. Felix Dawkins. He’s head of the memory recall division and you’ll be working closely with him.”

They exchange pleasantries and Cosima leaves Delphine in the hands of Dr. Dawkins. She still can’t shake the feeling like she’s met Delphine somewhere else before, but she gets back to work and finishes out her day. As she’s walking out of the lobby, she sees Delphine standing on the stairs in front of the building, checking something on her phone.

“I hope your first day was relatively painless,” Cosima says as she walks up next to Delphine.

Delphine puts her phone away and grins. “Oh, yes, pain-free.”

“Good, I’m glad to hear that,” Cosima replies. After a beat, Cosima continues, “I hope this isn’t too forward or out of line, but I was about to go grab some dinner. Do you want to come?” She has her hands in her pockets and isn’t making eye contact, figuring that she’ll either get shot down, or Delphine will come up with an excuse not to go. They hardly even know each other, after all.

“Actually, that sounds lovely,” Delphine answers. “I don’t know many people here and it would be nice to have a friend at work.”

Cosima gives off a big, toothy, grin. “Great. I know this awesome Mediterranean place just down the street.”

The pair head off in the direction of the restaurant. Hating small talk, Cosima walks in silence, but she can’t take it anymore.

“Are you from around here?”

Delphine looks over to Cosima and shakes her head. “Non, actually, I was living in Montréal for a while and went to school in the U.S. I moved here for this job.”

Cosima nods. “Right. I mean, who would move here voluntarily, right?” She chuckles at her own joke and Delphine joins her in laughter.

They arrive at the restaurant and Cosima holds the door open for Delphine. They find a booth near the back and the hostess hands them their menus. The two gloss over the dishes and Delphine breaks the silence.

“I’ve never had Mediterranean food before.”

Cosima’s eyes widen. “Really?”

Delphine looks a little sheepish and shakes her head.

“Okay, well, falafel is always a safe choice. If you want to try a little of everything, their kebab plate with the pilaf and fattoush is good, too.”

Delphine settles on the kebab plate and Cosima orders a falafel wrap and a couple of baklava for the both of them. After they finish their meal, Cosima pushes the plate of baklava toward Delphine.

“You gotta try this. They’re so good.”

Delphine picks up the flaky dessert between her fingers and takes a small bite. The sweet honey coats her tongue and it’s one of the best things she’s ever put in her mouth. She moans in satisfaction and catches Cosima staring at her. Embarrassed by her reaction to the dessert, she looks away and wipes her mouth with her napkin.

“Good, right?” Cosima asks while examining Delphine’s reactions. She picks up her own piece and takes a bite, some of the filo pastry crumbling to the table. When the check comes, Cosima insists on paying, saying that it’s tradition when there’s a new hire, though that’s a blatant lie. Cosima’s never taken a new hire out to dinner on their first day. They walk back to SMRG to pick up Delphine’s car. Delphine offers to drop Cosima off at her place after finding out that Cosima takes public transportation to and from work every day.  After some hesitation and resistance, Cosima finally accepts Delphine’s offer and climbs into the car, which is a gray Audi with leather seats. She wonders what kind of job Delphine had before that could pay for a car like this.

The two take the opportunity to get to know each other better. Cosima finds out that Delphine is an only child and her parents still live in France. They sent her to Canada when she was eighteen to live with her aunt and then went to college in New York to become a neurologist. When she heard about SMRG, she decided that she would much rather concentrate on the research aspect and finding a cure to Alzheimer’s. Learning about memory insertion/extraction was just icing on the cake.

They pull up to Cosima’s front door. She shares a duplex with her sister, Sarah. Cosima thanks Delphine for the ride and bids her goodnight. She walks up to the front door and unlocks it. Cosima opens the door and looks back at Delphine, giving her a small wave. As Delphine drives off, Cosima takes one more look back and watches the car drive off until it’s just a speck at the end of the street. When she turns around, she’s startled at the sight of her sister right in front of her.

“Oi, who was that?” Sarah inquires with a smirk across her face.

“It was a coworker. She just started today and I took her out to a welcome dinner.” Cosima pushes past her sister and starts climbing the stairs to her half of the duplex.

“You’ve never taken any other new hires out before.”

Cosima stops in her tracks. “Sure, I have. Remember, uh, Harold?” She’s a terrible liar.

“You’re a terrible liar, sis. You like this chick? It’s been a while since you’ve been on a date, yeah?”

Cosima turns around and scoffs. “It wasn’t a date! Not only is that inappropriate, considering I’m technically her superior, I just met her today,” then says under her breath, “I think.”

Sarah leans on the wall at the foot of the staircase. “Like that’s stopped you before?”

Cosima rolls her eyes and turns around to continue ascending the stairs. “Goodnight, Sarah.”

The remainder of the evening is spent Googling Delphine’s name, finding next to no information on her, not even a social media account. Finally, Cosima gives up and climbs into bed. It takes her a few minutes to succumb to sleep, knowing that she will most likely wake up before her alarm again the next morning. That night, she dreams of her sister, of work, and of a faceless shadow who eludes her gaze, no matter what angle she looks.

* * *

 

The next morning, her eyes flutter open and she looks at her blurry clock on the table next to her bed. It’s blinking 4:55am. She bolts up and checks her phone. 8:20am; she’s late for work. Cosima hastily dresses and brushes her teeth and races out the door.

When she arrives to her lab, she swipes her card and opens the door. She’s surprised to see Delphine there, working with Scott.

“Oh, Delphine, hi.”

Delphine turns and waves at Cosima. “Good morning! Here, I made coffee,” she says while handing Cosima her double helix coffee mug.

Cosima gives Scott an impressed look and he nods enthusiastically. Scott walks up to the other woman with papers in his hands.

“Delphine was here helping me with that glitch we were having with the extracted memories getting partially left behind. Take a look at this.”

Scott hands Cosima the papers, which shows equations and other scribbles, essentially solving their problem and giving them the ability to isolate specific memories, which would make it easier to both insert and extract, without cutting into other memories.

“This is… this is incredible,” Cosima says as she flips through all of the papers. “Your second day on the job and you’re already solving problems that we’ve been having for months.”

Delphine’s smile fades. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to overstep. I saw Scott walking into the building this morning and we started talking about your work and I just wanted to help.”

Cosima shakes her head. “No, no, it’s okay. This is really good work. Thank you.”

Delphine walks back to the table and picks up her bag. “Well, I should be going. Dr. Dawkins will probably be wondering where I am. I didn’t check in with him first.”

“I’ll give him a call and let him know where you were,” Cosima answers, still looking through the papers. She says under her breath, “Really good work.”

As Delphine turns to leave, Cosima brings her eyes up and feels something bubbling inside of her. She knows what this is and she clears her throat and takes a big gulp of coffee to try and swallow it down. It has sugar and creamer in it, just the way she likes it. Puzzled, she puts the mug down and looks at Scott, who’s been staring at her since Delphine left.

“What?”

“I’ve seen this look before, Cosima. You have it whenever you want to make crazy science with someone.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Scott,” Cosima replies, without making eye contact with her coworker. “I’m just surprised that someone who just started yesterday could find a solution this quickly.”

“What about dinner?” Scott asks. Cosima finally looks up at him, eyes wide.

“How do you know about that?”

 “Delphine told me about it. She said you two had a nice time. You never took me out to dinner.”

Cosima clears her throat, placing the papers on the corner of the table, glancing over at her coffee mug. “I don’t know, Scotty, there’s something oddly familiar about her and I don’t know what it is. I’m just trying to figure it out.” She sits at her computer and starts plugging in the equations and gets to work. The rest of the day is fairly uneventful. The extraction team had a couple of appointments that went off without a hitch and they decided to start rolling out the new extraction method that Delphine came up with in the next few weeks.

Normally, Cosima goes straight home after work, but she found herself going out with Delphine, Scott, and Felix a lot more, almost like a science-y double date. They frequent a nearby bar most nights, or just go out to eat. It’s nice, Cosima thinks. She only really ever talked to Scott and Sarah, so expanding her social circle seems like something someone her age should be doing. She starts noticing that she holds Delphine’s gaze a bit longer with each drink they have together, her heart beats a little faster with each meal they share, and saying goodbye gets a little harder every time it leaves her lips.

After one night of drinking, Delphine drops Cosima off at her duplex. “Thanks for being my taxi service again, Delphine.”

“It’s my pleasure,” Delphine replies. As Cosima opens the passenger door and begins to climb out, Delphine asks, “Are you doing anything this weekend? There’s this seminar that I was thinking of going to about new technologies that are coming out in regards to memory retention and recall. I thought it would be interesting and it pertains to our job, which is a bonus.”

Cosima hadn’t heard anything about the seminar, but she enjoys Delphine’s company and she could use the excuse that it was work-related.

“Yeah, that sounds cool. I’ll tag along.”

Delphine smiles widely. “Okay, I’ll pick you up at ten.”

Cosima nods in agreement. “It’s a date. Wait, I mean, not a _date_. I’ll… I’ll see you tomorrow.” She hurriedly slams the car door behind her and walks to her front door, fumbling with her keys. She glances behind her and Delphine is still waiting in the driveway, waiting for her to get inside. Cosima finally gets her door open and gives Delphine a quick wave and shuts the door behind her. She leans back and lets out a yelp when Sarah appears next to her.

“Was that Dr. Sexy again?”

“Stop scaring me! And don’t call her that,” Cosima sneers and pushes off the door. She starts walking upstairs and hears Sarah following her.

“Okay, sorry mate,” Sarah apologizes. “You want to talk about it?”

Cosima pauses mid-step. “There’s nothing to talk about. She and I are coworkers and that’s it.”

Sarah continues pushing the subject. “Yeah, but it’s been a while since you-know-who. It’s okay to send feelers out and get to know someone better.”

Cosima shakes her head forlornly. “I don’t… I don’t know if I’m ready yet, Sarah. I don’t even know if Delphine is gay.”

“There’s only one way to find out, sis. And, look, there’s also nothing wrong with just having a friend. You can’t hang out with me and Scott for the rest of your life.”

Cosima lets out a soft sigh. She knows Sarah’s right. “I’m going with her to a seminar tomorrow. I’ll… send out ‘feelers,’ or whatever, then.”

Satisfied with her sister’s reply, Sarah goes back downstairs and leaves Cosima with her thoughts. Cosima pulls out a thin book from her nightstand and flips through the first few pages. She’s kept a journal over the years, only writing entries when she found it necessary. Lately, she’s been trying to write down her dreams, since they’ve been so frequent. She flips to one particular part of the journal and notices that some pages are ripped out, but she doesn’t remember ripping any out. The dates line up to around a year ago, but she can’t recall anything noteworthy happening then. Cosima puts the journal back into her drawer and removes her glasses. She lies down and thinks about what Sarah said about Delphine and getting to know her. On one hand, she wouldn’t mind having a new friend to talk science with, but on the other, Cosima can feel something developing and she’s not quite sure she wants to allow herself to become that vulnerable again. She spent years building up those walls and for one woman to break them down so easily is daunting.

Cosima takes a deep breath and drifts off to sleep, the last thing she thinks of is Delphine’s face slowly darkening until it becomes a shadow.


	2. There's No Room in War for Feelings

** June 1944 **

Distant booms echo all around the 24th Evacuation Hospital in Normandy where First Lieutenant Cosima Niehaus, an Army nurse, is stationed. She’s gotten used to the noise, so she’s able to sleep through it. Her unit arrived a week ago and they were immediately put to work, readying the hospital and tending to any injured who were sent there. When the head nurse rings the bell, notifying all of the nurses sleeping outside that it’s time to get up, Cosima reaches for her glasses and sets them on her face. There isn’t enough room for all of the nurses to sleep indoors, so some nurses have pitched tents in front of the hospital. Cosima doesn’t mind; the weather isn’t too unbearable yet, although it is getting warmer.

She washes up and gets dressed, then heads into the hospital. She makes her rounds to her patients, talking to all of them and trying to make them feel as comfortable as possible. She changes dressings and assists doctors with administering medicine. As she’s handing one soldier a dose of antibiotics and a glass of water, she looks down the room and sees a beautiful woman speaking with a doctor, her golden curls peeking out from under her cap.

“Careful, Cosima. If you stare any harder, you may burn a hole through her dress,” the soldier jokes.

“Shut it, Scott,” Cosima replies. “Take your antibiotics.”

Scott puts the pills in his mouth and takes a big swig of water, washing the antibiotics down. “Hey, I’m not judging. She’s your type.”

Cosima is about to voice a retort when she sees the blonde woman walking toward her. Looking away immediately, Cosima begins fidgeting and trying to look busy. She glances at the woman and they catch each other’s eye. Cosima turns a bright shade of red and looks back at her hands, which are trying to untie a tube that had gotten knotted up.

“You must be Cosima Niehaus,” the woman says with a French accent.

Cosima swallows hard and slowly turns to look at the nurse. “Uh, yes, that’s me.”

“Enchantée, I’m Delphine Cormier. I was transferred here to help with the hospital.” Delphine extends her hand and Cosima nervously shakes it. “Dr. Leekie told me that you could show me around.”

Cosima stands abruptly and drops the tube she was untangling. “Of course. I can take you on a tour right now, if you’d like.” She ushers Delphine down the hall and looks back at Scott, who’s giving her an enthusiastic thumbs up.

“Is that a French accent?” Cosima asks, even though she knows the answer. She’s just wondering why a French nurse is in an American hospital.

“Yes, I was born here, but studied in the United States. I was working here when the war broke out, but I was part of the resistance when the Germans invaded. Most of us were transferred out, but a few stayed.”

Cosima nods in understanding. “Are people treating you okay?”

Delphine shrugs. “As well as expected. Do people treat you any differently with the German surname?”

“Sometimes,” Cosima replies, remembering when the war first began and she would find dead rats in her bed. The hazing only ended once she singlehandedly saved a group of soldiers, who had gotten stuck in an ambush, after they were dropped off in front of their hospital in California. Nurses were in shock and didn’t know how to address the influx of new patients. Cosima took one look at the carnage and began giving the nurses jobs and going around to triage each soldier. She labeled every man and woman based on severity and saved many lives that day.

Cosima shows Delphine around the hospital, going to the surgery wing and the trauma rooms. They also have physical therapy and recovery rooms for soldiers who have lost limbs. When they’re finished with the tour, they end up in the room they started in. Delphine thanks Cosima for showing her around and says she hopes they see more of each other. Cosima assures her that they will and watches Delphine leave. She can feel Scott grinning behind her.

“So, how’d it go?”

Cosima pushes her glasses up the bridge of her nose. “It was fine, Scott. I just showed her around the hospital.”

Scott sits up in the bed. “That’s it? You’re going to have to do better than that. There are a lot of good looking guys here, namely myself. You’ve got some competition.”

Cosima can’t contain herself and lets out a hearty laugh. She shakes her head and gives Scott a nod before she leaves to see what else needs to be done.

The next few days are busy; the hospital is getting a steady number of new patients every day and not discharging nearly enough. The only thing that keeps Cosima sane is her lunches with Delphine. They both sit on the grassy area behind the hospital every afternoon; Cosima is tasked with bringing the blanket and Delphine brings sandwiches made in the mess hall. On this particular day, Delphine walks up with a bottle of wine that she swiped from the head nurse’s office and a couple of glasses.

Cosima raises her eyebrows upon seeing Delphine with the bottle. “Wine?” She asks inquisitively.

“Wine,” Delphine answers. “We deserve it. Plus, I don’t think Nurse S will miss it. It had a layer of dust thicker than your glasses.”

Cosima lets out a loud huff. “Rude.”

She feels herself letting her guard down around Delphine as each day passes and she realizes this is dangerous territory. Same sex relationships are unheard of and one between a German American and a French woman would be… something else entirely. She eats her sandwich silently and sips her wine. The wine isn’t anything special, but sharing the bottle with Delphine makes it taste sweeter.

“Is everything okay?” Delphine asks, taking a sip of wine from her own glass. She had been studying Cosima’s face ever since they sat down, watching Cosima furrow her brow every so often and nibbling at her sandwich.

Cosima is shaken out of her deep thought. She smiles at Delphine. “Fine,” she replies. A minute passes. “Delphine, have you ever done something, fully knowing it’s a horrible idea, but you can’t help yourself?”

Delphine leans her head sideways looks at Cosima. She thinks for a minute. “I guess so. I’m not quite sure what you’re referring to, though.”

“It’s nothing. Just… matters of the heart, you know?”

Delphine’s eyes widen and then she understands. “Oh! You mean you and Scott. He is rather handsome, in a way, I suppose. I mean, he seems nice.”

Cosima chokes on her wine and sputters. “What? No! Not Scott. He and I are merely friends. Oh boy, forget I said anything.” She goes back to sipping her wine and looking anywhere except in Delphine’s direction. The blonde laughs heartily and sips from her own glass. They finish their lunch and go back to work. Cosima can’t concentrate on anything other than Delphine’s smile and the way her eyes squint when she laughs.

That night, the nurses organize a dance in the mess hall for the soldiers, to lift their spirits. Cosima is on a ladder, hanging decorations and Delphine is laying out refreshments. Other doctors and nurses are out and about, gathering soldiers who are able to attend and getting them ready.

When the dance starts, music plays through the speakers and Cosima finds herself standing next to Scott, who is sitting in a wheelchair. Delphine is on the dancefloor with another soldier, who has a bandage over one eye.

“You’d better make your move, soon. Bob is giving your girl flirty eyes, er, eye,” Scott teases.

“She’s not my girl. She can flirt with whomever she wants.”

Cosima turns to face Scott and grabs each of his armrests. “Besides, I already have a date tonight.” Before Scott can protest, he’s being wheeled out to the middle of the dancefloor and Cosima is twisting and turning his wheelchair and they’re both laughing while the music plays.

The song ends and Cosima is out of breath; dancing with a wheelchair-bound man is exhausting. Delphine walks up to them with two cups full of punch in each hand. She hands each of them to Cosima and Scott. They accept the cups and continue watching the rest of the people dance. Scott nudges Cosima and she swats at him.

“Cosima, would you like to dance?” Delphine asks.

Cosima rubs the back of her neck and laughs nervously. “I’m all danced out, I think. Dancing with Scott took a lot out of me.”

Delphine then offers her hand to Scott, who shoves his cup into Cosima’s hands, and he wheels himself to the dancefloor. He looks at Cosima and shrugs. Cosima looks at the two empty cups in her hands. A pang of jealousy washes over her, even though she knows she’s the one who missed her chance.

Feeling awkward standing there by herself, Cosima goes to throw away the cups and leaves the mess hall. She walks outside and down the trail around the side of the hospital. The air is warm and stale, a faint smell of smoke floats through the air. It’s dark, but there’s enough light that Cosima can see the ground beneath her feet. The night sky is littered with stars and it’s oddly silent, save for the distant music playing inside. She hears footsteps behind her and whips around to see who it is. She can see a tall silhouette in the moonlight and immediately knows it’s Delphine.

“Where did you go?”

Cosima pushes her glasses up the bridge of her nose. “Oh, I just needed some air. It was getting kind of stuffy in there with all the people.”

 “You are a terrible liar, you know,” Delphine says with a light chuckle.

Cosima scoffs. “So I’ve been told.”

Delphine nearly stands flush to Cosima, close enough that Cosima can smell her perfume wafting all around the both of them. Her heart begins to beat faster and she’s afraid it will leap right out of her chest onto the floor. She’s starting to feel faint and that’s when she feels Delphine holding her up, one hand in hers and the other behind Cosima’s back. Delphine begins humming a soft tune and swaying back and forth. Cosima realizes that they’re dancing in the same area where they have lunch.

“Delphine, what—“Cosima starts to say before she’s cut off by Delphine shushing her. She takes one of her hands and cups the side of Cosima’s cheek, the other still resting on her back. She leans down and gently presses her lips to Cosima’s. Cosima breathes in sharply. Her head starts to swim and she doesn’t quite register what’s happening. A few minutes ago, she was watching Delphine dance with soldiers and now… this. Cosima brings her hands to rest on Delphine’s hips and opens her mouth slightly. Their kiss becomes more passionate, lighting everything within them ablaze. However, it is cut short when they hear a deafening alarm blaring from the outside speakers.

It’s the bomb siren.

Cosima pushes herself away from Delphine and they look at each other with horror. Airplanes soar overhead, circling them like vultures. They take each other’s hand and run back into the hospital, where nurses are already ushering injured soldiers toward the basement bomb shelter. A sense of dread fills Cosima as she realizes she doesn’t know where Scott is. She runs to the mess hall and Delphine follows her. Cosima calls out Scott’s name and she sees him making his way out of the mess hall with a few other people.  She runs toward him and gets behind his wheelchair in order to push him faster. Just as she gets to the door, a loud bang echoes through the hospital and the walls of the hospital begin to crumble down. Cosima pushes Scott through the door to Delphine and the doorway and concrete around it falls in between them.

“Cosima!” Delphine screams. She starts throwing chunks of the wall to the sides, trying to dig through the rubble. Scott tries to help, but it’s futile; there’s too much there. They hear a faint voice through the rocks.

“You guys need to get out of here. Get to the basement.”

“We’re not leaving you,” Scott replies, defiantly.

“There’s no time!” Cosima yells back. “Please,” she says quietly.

“We’ll come back for you, Cosima,” Scott says. “We need to go, Delphine.”

Tears stream down Delphine’s cheeks and she stops digging. She knows that if she wants to save herself and Scott, they need to leave, but she can’t bear to leave Cosima behind. She puts one hand on the rubble and whispers breathlessly.

“Je t’aime.”


	3. Time Won't Let Me Go

** June 2099 **

Cosima is startled awake. Once again, the contents of the dream and the faces are nothing but shadows, but she writes down what she can remember in her journal. She looks at her clock; she has about an hour to get ready before Delphine will be there to pick her up for the seminar. Her closet is full of clothes, yet, she can’t decide on what to wear. She settles on a sleeveless maroon dress that goes down to her knees. She grabs her shoulder bag and walks outside to wait for Delphine.

As she’s waiting on the front stoop of the duplex, she hears the door open behind her. Cosima sighs.

“Hey, Cos, waiting on the doc?”

Cosima brings her bag up to her chest. “Yep. She should be here any minute, so you should go back inside.”

Sarah scoffs. “Why? Don’t you want me to meet her?”

“Um, no, not really.”

“Geez. Okay, I’m leaving.”

Just as Sarah turns to open the door, Delphine’s car pulls up to the driveway. Sarah gives her a big, exaggerated wave. Cosima rubs her forehead, embarrassed by her sister’s actions. Delphine turns the car off and steps out.

“Bonjour!” Delphine calls out. She’s wearing knee-high boots, jeans, and a loose blouse that hangs off of her shoulders.

 “Wow, sis. I see the appeal now,” Sarah whispers to Cosima. Cosima elbows Sarah in the ribs and walks toward Delphine.

“Hi, Delphine. This is my sister, Sarah.”

“Nice to meet ya,” Sarah says, curling the edge of her mouth into a smirk and holding out a hand. Delphine shakes it and smiles. Cosima is standing to the side of them, noticeably uncomfortable.

“Well, shall we go? Are you coming, too, Sarah?” Delphine asks.

“Me? Nah, this stuff is out of my periphery. You kids have fun.”

Cosima hurries past them and climbs into the passenger side of Delphine’s car. As they back out of the driveway, Cosima watches as Sarah waves goodbye.

“I didn’t know you had a sister,” Delphine says, keeping her eyes on the road.

“Er, yeah. We weren’t that close when we were kids, and she moved abroad for school, but I guess we’re trying to make up for it now.”

“Well, that’s nice. She seems like a character.”

“You have no idea.”

When they arrive at the hall where the seminar is taking place, they park inside the parking structure and head inside. The room is circular with an empty stage in the center, likely where the speaker will be. The room fills up eventually and it ends up being a packed house. Cosima looks around at all of the different people in the room, people from different backgrounds with different reasons for being there. Delphine reaches over and touches Cosima’s arm to get her attention.

Images flash across Cosima’s eyes and it startles her. She sees a thin man standing in the center of the room, much like the one they’re in and he’s talking about something called Neolution. The speaker explains that humans are inherently flawed organisms and, with Neolution, those flaws can be corrected through science. The image then switches to Cosima and a faceless woman arguing. She doesn’t know what they’re fighting about, but she can feel the betrayal and the hurt. She hears Delphine’s voice echoing in her ears.

“Cosima? Are you all right?”

“Yeah, sorry, what were you saying?”

Delphine looks slightly concerned. “I was asking if you’ve ever been to one of these seminars before.”

Cosima shakes her head. “I’ve never really seen the appeal. Most of the time, by the time these talks are given, the science is already obsolete.” She quickly corrects herself, “But this one seems really interesting. I think we’ll actually learn something from it.”

Delphine gives of a gentle smile and Cosima can see her dimples forming at the corners of her mouth. She’s about to say something when the lights go out. 3D pictures of the human brain project all around the stage and a tall, thin man walks to the center of the room. Cosima lets out a soft gasp when she recognizes him from the vision she had just before.

“Good morning, everyone. My name is Dr. Aldous Leekie and we’re here to talk about the human brain. When you think of the brain and the fact that we only tap into about ten percent of its full potential, what would you say if I told you there’s a way to expand that percentage? What if I could tell you that you could learn how to develop a photogenic memory? Or recall memories from your infancy? With today’s technology, Alzheimer’s will be obsolete very soon.” He looks directly at Delphine and Cosima’s direction. “I see we have some memory scientists from Swan Memory Research Group here with us today. I’m sure they’ll be able to shed some light on the recent findings of memory recall. Their research is the spearhead of what I’m talking about. This revolutionary science is the gateway to curing brain diseases, to figuring out exactly how memories tie us to ourselves and our humanity.”

Cosima looks at Delphine and then at Dr. Leekie, wondering how he knew where they worked.

“So, let’s talk about memories. Something happens to you and you remember it a certain way. However, everything that happens to you after that particular memory alters the way that you think about it and remember it. It adds various filters that you look through with each experience you encounter. Your brain tends to play tricks on you and you become an unreliable source. Are you certain that you told your wife that you’d go out for her birthday? That trip you went on last month, did those things actually happen the way that you remember? We have the ability to recall these memories. The brain has the ability to remember everything you’ve ever been through. We just have to lift those filters and get down to the raw, pure, memories that are deep in your mind. And, who knows, we may even be able to tap into memories from past lives. The possibilities are endless.”

After the seminar is over, Delphine sees that Dr. Leekie Is talking to some people and tells Cosima that she wants to meet him and pick his brain. Cosima is hesitant and watches Delphine walk up to the taller man and start a conversation. She motions Cosima to come over and Cosima begrudgingly complies.

“You must be Cosima. Dr. Cormier here was just telling me about your research with memory extraction and how you’ve figured out how to isolate individual memories.”

Cosima is immediately suspicious of the man. “Well, I’m guessing you already know all about it, since you knew where we worked.”

Dr. Leekie chuckles. “I make it a point to research the attendees of my seminars beforehand. It makes it more interactive. So, what did you two think?”

Delphine responds, “I think it’s fascinating how you were saying that we can recall memories from past lives if we wanted to. That kind of thing would completely change our entire way of thinking regarding world religions and what we imagine what a soul is.”

Dr. Leekie nods. “Exactly. Being able to recall past lives is something of a pet project of mine. If you both are interested, I’m conducting experiments at my lab and quite a few have been successful. We’ve been able to recall the past lives of dozens of people. I’m sure with all of our knowledge, we could help each other out.”

Cosima shakes her head. “I’m not too sure about this. It’s one thing to recall old memories from a person, but going through past lives… I’ll pass.”

“Well, if you change your mind, here’s where you can reach me.” Dr. Leekie pulls out a business card with his contact information on it. “I do hope to speak with you again soon.”

Cosima takes the business card and stuffs it in her pocket. She’s about to turn to leave, but she stops herself. “Have you and I met before, Dr. Leekie?”

Dr. Leekie cocks his head pensively. “No, I don’t believe we have. Ah, are you experiencing déjà vu? You know the idea that déjà vu are memories from your past life or an alternate reality?” He whispers, “It’s true.”

Cosima and Delphine walk out of the auditorium and back toward the car.

“Can you believe that guy? Trying to sell books and his research to people by tricking them into thinking they can recall a past life. That’s ridiculous.”

Delphine shrugs. “I don’t know, it seems plausible. Think about it; imagine that you could recall past lives and see if the person you’re with is your soulmate. You could see if your love transcends time.”

“You don’t really believe that, do you?” Cosima asks with a laugh.

“Actually, I do,” Delphine says with an unamused tone in her voice.

By the time Cosima realizes that she’s offended Delphine, they’re back at the car. They both climb in without a word and the drive back to Cosima’s is painfully silent. When they arrive in front of Cosima’s duplex, Cosima pauses before opening her door.

“I’ll, um, see you on Monday?”

Delphine doesn’t look at Cosima as she answers, “Yeah. Sure.”

Cosima exits the car and closes the door gently. She walks up to her front door and Delphine is already out the driveway before she can unlock it. It’s the first time she hasn’t waited until Cosima was safely inside. She opens the front door and Sarah is already waiting in the hallway.

“How was it?”

Cosima looks visibly upset, but tries to hide it. “It was really interesting. There’s a lot of new research being done with memory recall.”

“Is something up? Normally, you’re excited to talk my ear off about this science stuff.”

Cosima shakes her head. “No, I think I’m just tired. I’m going to go upstairs and take a nap. I’ll see you later.” She ascends the stairs and flops face-first onto her bed. She hurt Delphine’s feelings and feels like a complete tool. What Dr. Leekie said about recalling past memories sounds impossible, but maybe there’s a chance that it could work. She pulls the business card out of her pocket and stares at it for a long time. Cosima takes out her phone and dials the number. She figures it couldn’t hurt to at least call Dr. Leekie and maybe giving him a chance would get Delphine to forgive her.

“This is Dr. Leekie,” the voice on the other side of the phone answers.

“Uh, hi. This is Cosima Niehaus. I was at your seminar this morning.”

“Ah, yes, Cosima! I’m glad you called. I really do think that you and I could get a lot of good work done together. I’d like to invite you and Dr. Cormier to my lab sometime. And, if you want, we could get you set up with one of the recall sessions.”

Cosima considers Dr. Leekie’s offer. She can’t believe she’s actually thinking about participating in his trials. “Actually, I kind of wanted to go in myself, just to see what it’s all about.”

“Of course, not a problem. I’ll text you the address and directions here.” The line clicks and Cosima’s phone buzzes shortly after with Dr. Leekie’s address to his lab and a text that says that she could meet him there on Monday.

Cosima contemplates texting Delphine to tell her about it, but decides against it. It’s too soon, she thinks. She wants to see what Dr. Leekie has planned first. Cosima lays her head back on her pillow and closes her eyes; she drifts off to sleep and has the first dreamless sleep in a long time.

* * *

 

When Monday comes along, Cosima gets ready and makes her way to Dr. Leekie’s office. The train ride there is further than the ride to SMRG, so she sits back and looks out the window as they pass rows of buildings and trees. She receives a text from Scott asking where she is. Cosima replies and says she’s talking to a potential donor and she’ll probably be out all day.

When she gets to the stop that she needs to get out on, she picks up her bag and exits the train. She pulls up the text from Dr. Leekie with the directions to his lab and it’s about a five minute walk from the train station. As she makes her way to the lab, she takes in her surroundings. The scents are strangely familiar; Cosima recognizes it as an olfactory memory, but she doesn’t remember ever being in this area before. She arrives at Dr. Leekie’s lab. It’s a four story building made from ivory-colored stone and it appears there are multiple wings, much like her own building. The front doors slide open and she walks past security. She puts her items through the scanner and walks through a metal detector. The receptionists’ desk in straight ahead and Cosima walks up.

“I’m here to see Dr. Leekie. I’m Cosima Niehaus.”

The receptionist looks up from her computer screen and gives Cosima a once over. She looks to be in her early 30s, long, straight, blonde hair. There’s a nameplate that reads “Krystal” on top of the desk. She pops her gum and looks back down at her screen.

“Yep, you’re on the list. Fourth floor to the left,” she waves Cosima away.

Cosima walks past the desk to the elevator and pushes the button. The chime of the elevator rings through the hallway and the receptionist looks unfazed. She continues staring at her computer monitor, which Cosima notices has a cosmetic website on it. She shrugs and enters the elevator, pushing the button for the fourth floor. The elevator doors slide open and Cosima walks out. The floor she’s on is filled with offices with glass walls. Cosima turns left per the receptionist’s instructions and finds Dr. Leekie’s office. She knocks on the door and he waves her in from the see-through wall. As she enters the office, the faintest smell of mint permeates the room and now she knows for sure that she’s smelled that before.

“Cosima, welcome. Have a seat.”

Cosima sits in the brown leather armchair that sits across from the doctor. He then hands her a packet of papers.

“Now, this is all just precautionary stuff. It’s nothing serious, but I want you to read through it and sign it if you agree. It essentially says that we’re going to put you under with anesthesia and create a map of your brain. We’ll then go into the limbic system to the hippocampus and probe it with specially crafted electromagnetic pulses, which will activate it and recall memories from different times and, hopefully, past lives.” He holds up a pair of discs, similar to the ones SMRG uses for their research. “We’ve recalibrated these to target older memories. I’ll give you some time to look over the paperwork and I’ll come back in a few minutes.”

Dr. Leekie leaves the room and Cosima starts flipping through the pages. She’s a little nervous and considers texting Delphine or Scott to let them know where she really is, in case something goes wrong. She opens a new text and starts typing when something in the paperwork catches her eye. She skims over it and reads testimonials from people. One says that they were plagued by dreams of shadows and they could never see the faces of the people in them. It goes on to say that Dr. Leekie considers these dreams to be repressed memories that his experiments are meant to bring back. Before she can finish reading through it, Dr. Leekie walks back into the room.

“Just came to see how you were doing and answer any questions you may have.”

Cosima flips to the testimonial and shows the doctor. “These dreams… you think they’re actually memories?”

“Yes, we believe that the shadowing of the faces is your brain’s way of protecting you from either painful memories, or they’re buried so deep that your unconscious can’t grasp them, so it only shows you partial memories. Have you been experiencing these types of dreams?”

Cosima nods her head slowly. “Yeah, actually, I’ve been having them almost every night. I’ve been trying to keep a dream journal, but it’s kind of hard when you don’t know who you’re dreaming about.”

Dr. Leekie nods. “Well, I hope that our sessions will help you with some of these dream-memories. I just need your signature on the last two pages and we can get started.” He hands her a pen as he finishes his sentence.

Cosima holds the pen between her fingers and stares at the signature line. While she wants to know what her dreams are trying to show her, she’s also afraid of becoming a vegetable if this procedure goes south. Cosima takes a deep breath and signs her name on the dotted lines and hands the papers back to Dr. Leekie.

“I am so glad you’ll be working with us, Cosima. After we finish with your procedure, I hope you’ll consider either using it in your own research, or refer people to us. I believe we can have a symbiotic relationship. If you’ll excuse me, I’ll need to prepare. Someone will be in soon to show you to the changing room.”

A few minutes later, a woman with disheveled blonde and curly hair walks in. She is holding a hospital gown loosely in one hand and stares at Cosima blankly.

“Follow.”

Cosima stands and follows the woman out of the office. They walk down various corridors and stop in front of a plain, white door.

“Put dis on and leave normal person clothes on bench. I be back later to collect.”

Cosima begins to disrobe and puts the gown on, holding the back closed as well as she can. The door swings wide open and the woman from before walks right in without so much as a hello or a knock. Cosima then realizes the woman meant she would be back to collect her, not her clothes.

“Follow.”

Cosima follows the woman down the hall and they end up at a somewhat large room with many overhead lights and a chair in the middle. It reminds her of a dentist’s chair, which doesn’t help with her apprehension.

“Sit.”

Cosima sits on the chair and watches the other woman prepare the devices and other instruments needed for the procedure. Soon after, Dr. Leekie walks in with surgical gloves and scrubs on. He watches the other blonde woman throwing instruments around carelessly and sighs.

“You’ll have to excuse Helena. She’s a little… aggressive. Go ahead and lie back for me, get comfortable.”

“Will she be here during the procedure?” Cosima asks and Helena whips her head around to stare at Cosima and glares.

Dr. Leekie pats Helena on the shoulder. “No, Helena will be monitoring your vitals from behind the windows up there.” He points behind the chair and there’s a viewing booth with a few computers. She sees another figure standing up there, behind the monitors.

Cosima lies back in the chair and Dr. Leekie rubs a clear gel on her temples and forehead. He places the small discs that he showed her earlier around her skull. They’re cold to the touch and add to the weight of her head.

“Okay, Cosima, we’re going to start mapping your brain. You may feel some pulsing, but try to hold still.”

Dr. Leekie flips a switch and Cosima can feel her head pulsing where each disc sits. It’s a little uncomfortable, but not painful. A couple minutes later, she sees an image of her brain on the screen in front of her.

“There it is. There’s your magnificent brain. All right, next we need to put you under and start the recall. Are you ready?” Dr. Leekie looks up at the viewing booth and gives a thumbs up to the figure in there and they exit the booth.

Cosima remembers that she never texted anyone where she was, but it’s too late now. She nods. The doctor from the booth walks into the room with scrubs, a cap, and a face mask on. They sit on a stool next to Cosima and squeezes her hand gently before putting the anesthesia mask over her nose and mouth. Cosima narrows her eyes and looks into the other person’s eyes. She’d recognize those hazel pools anywhere.

“Delphine?” Cosima says quietly and struggles to keep her eyes open, but the anesthesia does its job and she falls unconscious.


	4. Once Upon a Different Life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end of this chapter is NSFW-ish.

** June 1950 **

Cosima wipes down a table that she just finished waiting on. The bus boy who was supposed to be there that day didn’t show up, so she was picking up the slack. She laid down cutlery and napkins and refilled the sugar, salt, and pepper shakers.

 She’s been working at Mrs. S’ Diner for the past six months. Ever since she moved out of her parents’ house, she’s had to make a living in order to pay her way through college. Her parents didn’t approve of her lifestyle and rampant activism, so she left in order to be free from the confines of her parents’ household rules. She lived with Mrs. S’s son, Felix, in a small apartment close to the diner. In addition to living with another man out of wedlock, Cosima found the company of women to be more appealing, but didn’t dare tell anyone other than Felix, for he also had the same tendencies when it came to whom he shared his bed with.

Working at the diner means getting to know the locals and who is and isn’t a regular. Most of the people who go there are working class folks, who make an honest wage. One day, Cosima sees a blonde woman sitting in the corner booth by herself. She’s never seen her there before – definitely not a regular. Even her clothes don’t really fit in; she’s wearing a long dress with a gold watch and heels. It’s much too fancy for their modest diner.

Cosima walks up to the woman to take her order.

“Can I get you something to drink?”

The blonde wipes what appear to be a tear from her cheek and opens the menu to pretend she’s looking when she’s actually trying to hide her face.

“I’ll have a coffee.”

The woman has a French accent, which isn’t really unusual, but it’s the first time Cosima has served someone who didn’t have a run-of-the-mill American accent.

“Cream?”

“Yes, please,” the blonde woman replies.

Cosima turns on her heel and walks over to the coffee pot. She grabs a small cup of cream and takes it back to the woman’s table.

“Are you ready to order?”

The woman looks at the menu again and then puts it down. “I’ll just have the coffee for now, thank you.”

Cosima nods and picks up the menu. Some of her regulars go to the diner just to talk, but it doesn’t look like that’s what this woman is there for. When she sees the woman lift her hand to pick up the coffee cup, Cosima notices a bruise on the woman’s wrist, as if someone grabbed it really hard. Knowing it’s none of her business, she leaves the woman alone.

Two hours pass and the blonde woman is still sitting alone in the booth. Cosima dutifully refills her coffee whenever the cup is empty. She wants to ask the woman questions and find out why she’s there in such nice clothes and why she’s there alone. Instead, she keeps her mouth shut and walks back behind the counter.

“That woman is still there?” Cosima’s coworker Alison asks. “Has she even paid for those ten cups of coffee yet?”

Cosima rolls her eyes. “No, not yet. It looks like she’s been through a lot, so I’m not rushing her.”

“Well, if you won’t, then I will!”

“Alison, knock it off. She’ll pay, relax.”

Alison leaves in a huff. Cosima looks over at the woman again, who pulls out her wallet. When she opens it, she sighs and looks distressed. Cosima takes out a piece of apple pie from the display case and makes her way toward the blonde woman. She sets the plate down on the table.

“Here. It’s on the house.”

The blonde looks up at Cosima and makes eye contact for the first time since she’s been in there.

“Non, I couldn’t.”

Cosima smiles her great big smile. “Please, I insist.”

The woman whispers quietly, “Thank you.”

“I’m Cosima. I haven’t seen you in here before and I know almost all of the locals.”

“Delphine. I’m... not from around here. I live a couple towns over.”

“Well, it’s nice to meet you, Delphine. Enjoy the pie; it’s the best around.”

“Enchantée,” Delphine says with a gentle smile.

Cosima returns the smile and goes to check on her other tables. Out of the corner of her eye, she watches Delphine eat the pie slowly, savoring it. It’s nearing two in the afternoon and that’s when Cosima’s shift ends. Once she closes out the remaining outstanding bills, she walks back over to Delphine’s booth.

“So, I’m going to be heading out of here in a few minutes. Is there anything else I can get you?”

Delphine shakes her head. “No, thank you. I should be leaving, anyhow.”

Cosima clears her throat. “Well, uh, if you want to wait a few minutes, I can walk you out.” She’s not sure what’s gotten into her. She never makes a move on customers.

“Sure,” Delphine says with the first genuine smile that Cosima has seen from her.

“Okay, give me a few minutes. I’ll be right back.”

Cosima runs to the back room and takes off her apron and collects her tips. She clocks out and makes her way back to Delphine when she’s intercepted by Alison, who is standing in front of her with her arms crossed.

“I didn’t see you pick up her check.”

“Seriously, Alison? Just… put it on my tab.” Cosima breezes past her coworker and walks up to Delphine, who is already standing with her coat and purse.

“Ready?” Cosima asks.

Delphine nods and they both head out of the diner. They both hear Alison yelling at them as they leave.

“You owe me one dollar and fifty cents, Cosima! You’re paying for that pie, too!”

“Tab!” Cosima yells back.

“Oh, poop on a stoop.”

Cosima and Delphine walk down the street for a while and Cosima, being naturally inquisitive, can’t contain herself any longer, so she starts asking questions.

“So, what brings you here, Delphine?”

“I’m just visiting some friends.”

Cosima nods. She realizes it’s going to be difficult to get any information out of Delphine without prying harder, but they just met. Delphine has no reason to trust her or give her any information.

Cosima stops walking. “I’m not exactly sure where we’re heading.” She looks around in order to get her bearings. They’ve stopped right in front of a candy shop. “Want some sweets?”

“I don’t really eat much candy,” Delphine replies.

“Nonsense!” Cosima says, waving her hands in the air. She grabs one of Delphine’s hands and pulls her into the shop. They look at the barrels full of various candies, from salt water taffy to hard candies to caramel apples. There is a sign that reads “New Candy” and Cosima picks one up. She looks at the shiny red wrapper.

“Rocky… road? What kind of a name is that?” Cosima asks rhetorically. “Let’s try one of these.”

She takes a couple of Rocky Road candies to the cash register and an older woman rings them up. Cosima lays down the change on the counter. They walk outside of the shop and Cosima hands Delphine one of the candies. The crinkle of the paper makes the both of them laugh as they each try the candy. Its chocolatey outside is sweet and the marshmallow inside catches Cosima off-guard and she tries to chew the giant bite of candy she just took.

Delphine watches her with amusement as she nibbles on her own piece. When Cosima finally swallows it down, she laughs.

“Well, I was not expecting that.”

Delphine lets out a boisterous laugh, seemingly the first one she’s let out in a while. She glances at her watch and her smile immediately falls.

“Merde. I’m sorry, Cosima, but I have to go.”

“Oh, okay. Do you have a car somewhere?”

Delphine nods and points in the direction they came from. “Yes, I left it by the diner.”

The two women head back toward the diner and up to Delphine’s car. When she sees it, Cosima’s mouth drops wide open. The French woman drives a red 1950 Chevrolet Corvette. She’s only seen a handful of them around.

“ _This_ is your car?” Cosima asks, trailing her hand across the paint.

Delphine nods, noticeably embarrassed.

“Well, I guess this explains your clothes and everything.”

“Maybe I can take you for a ride sometime,” Delphine teases as she opens the driver’s side door. Cosima pushes her glasses up the bridge of her nose and chuckles lightly.

“Okay, well, it was nice meeting you, Delphine. I hope you come visit our sleepy little town again soon.”

“I will. Thank you for… everything, Cosima.”

Delphine climbs into her car and Cosima stands back on the sidewalk and listens to the engine of the car roar to life when Delphine turns on the ignition. She gives a small wave as she watches the car disappear into the horizon and she already feels her heart sink. She makes her way back to her apartment and the second she walks through the door, Felix nearly jumps on top of her.

“What did you do to Alison? She’s been calling here nonstop all afternoon. Something about pie and a blonde woman?”

Cosima sighs. “I owe the diner some money. It’s not even that much. I told Alison to put it on my tab and she’s acting like I stole thousands of dollars.”

“Well, that’s Alison for you. Who’s this blonde woman she mentioned?”

“She’s just someone I helped out today. She looked like she was having a rough time, so I gave her a slice of pie. It’s no big deal.”

“Alison said the two of you left the diner together,” Felix pries further, with a raised eyebrow.

“Honestly, Felix, it was nothing. I gave her pie, we went to the candy shop, and then she left.”

Felix stands with his arms crossed and a smirk on his face. Cosima hates when he does this, because he always knows when she’s lying.

“Okay, look, she’s absolutely gorgeous. She also had a wedding ring on and I didn’t even get her last name or where she lived. Chances are, I’ll never see her again.”

“Oh, ye of little faith,” Felix replies. “Listen, darling, if something is meant to happen, it’ll happen, and for the love of God, please pay the diner back before I have to unplug our phone.”

A week passes and there’s no sign of Delphine. Cosima asks a few of the regulars, in case she came in while she wasn’t working, but no one’s seen anyone matching her description. Cosima starts to lose hope and continues her daily grind, but she can’t stop thinking about Delphine and whenever she sees someone in _her_ booth, she feels the need to shoo them away in case Delphine comes back.

Exactly a month after their first encounter, Cosima finishes up her lunch break at the diner a few minutes late and as she’s putting on her apron, she glances over at the corner booth. A familiar head of blonde curls peeks over the other tables and Cosima’s heart starts to pound through her chest. She walks toward the booth and it feels like time slowed down. The blonde woman looks up and meets Cosima’s eyes, grinning widely.

“Bonjour, Cosima.”

“Hey, you came back. Visiting friends again?” Cosima’s smile is wide and probably making it very obvious that she’s excited to see Delphine again.

“I owe you a ride in my car, remember?”

Cosima ducks her head and grins. “Coffee with cream?” Delphine nods and Cosima goes to grab the coffeepot. She sees Alison standing there with her steel gaze and pursed lips.

“Before you say anything, I’ve already paid the last bill and she’ll be good for this one.

 “She’d better be,” Alison snaps and grabs a pitcher of water from the counter.

Cosima shakes her head and walks back to Delphine’s booth with coffee in hand. She didn’t notice it before, but Delphine has fresh bruises on her neck. She frowns as she lays down the cup and saucer down on the table.

Delphine notices that Cosima is staring at her and covers her neck with her hand. She clears her throat and thanks Cosima. She slowly pours cream into the cup and stirs it with a tiny spoon.

Cosima looks at Delphine knowingly, but remains silent, unsure of what to say. She attempts to lighten the mood. “Mrs. S made fresh pumpkin pie this morning. Care for a slice?”

Delphine’s face softens and she nods. Cosima walks back to the display case and dishes out a couple of slices of pie. She sets two dollars and fifty cents next to the register, so Alison won’t give her another earful.  She walks back to the corner booth with one plate in each hand. As she walks up, Delphine’s face lights up. Cosima sets a plate in front of her and sits on the opposite side with her own plate.

“Don’t you need to work?” Delphine asks.

Cosima shrugs. “I’m a paying customer. This is on the house again, by the way.”

Delphine lets out a tiny laugh and begins to eat the pie. Cosima watches Delphine carefully as she sticks her fork in her own pie. Delphine closes her eyes blissfully and the pie hits her tongue. She is absolutely captivating and Cosima forgets how hard she’s staring as Delphine opens her eyes and blushes after noticing Cosima’s gaze. They finish their pie and Cosima stacks the plates.

“Well, I’m out at two again if you’d like to wait.” Delphine nods in agreement. “Okay, I’ll be back to fill up your coffee.”

When the clock strikes two, Cosima is back in the staff room, removing her apron and gathering her tips once again. She walks out and looks at Alison, who still looks displeased, but slightly less than usual. She opens the cash register without looking away and puts the money that Cosima placed on the counter into the till.

Cosima edges her way toward the corner booth and Delphine is standing again, coat over her arm.

“Let’s shake a leg,” she says to the blonde.

They exit the diner and Cosima walks straight to the Corvette. She rushes over to the driver’s side and opens the door for Delphine, who laughs at the unexpected chivalry. Cosima climbs into the other side and closes the door. Delphine starts the ignition and drives out into the road. She accelerates quickly and knocks Cosima back into the seat. Cosima rolls down her window and sticks her head out. The wind whips against her face, but it’s cool. Delphine smiles and takes out a cigarette from her purse. She lights it and hangs her arm out her own window.

The pair cruise around town for a while, but Delphine looks at her watch and the once joyous look on her face melts away.

“You gotta go?” Cosima asks.

Delphine nods solemnly. She drives back to the diner and pulls up in front of it. Cosima steps out of the car and leans into the open window.

“I guess I’ll see you in another month?”

Delphine cracks a smile. “Hopefully not that long. Goodbye, Cosima.” Cosima can’t bring herself to say the words back to Delphine, so she just steps back and waves while Delphine pulls away from the curb.

* * *

 

This continues for the next few months. Delphine shows up at the diner like clockwork, around the same time, on the first Friday of the month. She and Cosima have a slice of pie and they wait for Cosima to get off of work and they go on an adventure together. One month was a bicycle ride down the countryside with a picnic; another was a county fair, where Cosima won a little stuffed dog for Delphine at one of the carnival games; and the most recent was just sitting in Felix and Cosima’s apartment, talking about anything and sharing everything. Each time, Delphine leaves at around five in the afternoon and Cosima refuses to say goodbye, because she doesn’t know when it will be the last goodbye.

While sitting in the apartment during one of the visits, Cosima finally musters up the courage to ask the difficult question that’s been on her mind since she first met the other woman at the diner.

“Delphine, I’ve seen the bruises. Are you in some kind of trouble? My friend Felix and I, we can protect you. Mrs. S, too.”

“It’s… it’s nothing, Cosima. Don’t worry about me.”

Cosima scoffs. “Don’t worry about… okay, then answer this. Why do you only come here once a month? And why do you have to leave at five every time? Is it your husband?”

“Don’t make me answer these questions,” Delphine pleads. “Are we not enjoying each other’s company?”

Cosima closes her eyes. “Just… tell me what’s going on. Please.”

Delphine furrows her brow and bites the corner of her lip. She turns to face Cosima and takes Cosima’s hands into her own.

“I am married, yes. My husband goes out of town to a work meeting on the first Friday of every month and comes home around six o’ clock in the evening, so I need to be home, making dinner by the time he arrives. That first day that I was here, he found out that I had been speaking with a neighbor, a man, and he got jealous. Ever since that day, whenever he leaves for his meeting, he threatens me and says that if he catches me speaking to another man, he’ll…” Delphine pauses. “He’ll hurt me so badly that no man will ever want to speak to me again.”

Cosima feels her face flush and her blood begins to boil. Her hands ball into fists and Delphine holds them in her lap.

“Leave him.”

“I… I can’t.”

Cosima scoots closer to Delphine. “Yes, you can. Come live here with Felix and me. We’ll keep you safe.”

“No, Cosima, you don’t understand. I can’t leave him.”

Cosima sighs and shakes her head. “You’re right, I don’t understand. You’re in a situation that you don’t want to be in. I’m giving you a solution, but you won’t take it. If it’s a matter of money, we’ll help you.”

Delphine whispers quietly, so quietly that if Cosima hadn’t been as close as she was, she wouldn’t have caught it.

“I’m pregnant.”

Cosima sits up straighter, taking her hands out of Delphine’s lap. Her head starts swimming and thoughts are spinning in her head. Her apartment starts to feel claustrophobic and she’s short of breath. She stands and hobbles to the kitchen, where she puts a glass under the tap. She lifts the glass to her mouth, but it feels heavy. With one swift movement, she throws the glass at a wall and it shatters into hundreds of pieces all over the kitchen floor. Cosima braces herself on the edge of the sink.

Delphine is watching her from the doorway with a devastated look on her face. She walks up behind Cosima and embraces her. Her arms wrap around Cosima’s waist and Cosima crumbles to the ground. Delphine doesn’t let go.

“How much longer do we have?” Cosima asks through her sobs.

“I need to leave in thirty minutes,” Delphine replies.

“No, I mean how long do we have? How long until you’ll stop showing up, because you have a child to take care of? _His_ child.”

Delphine leans her head on top of Cosima’s. She can feel her own tears trickling down her cheeks.

“I don’t know,” she whispers.

They sit on the floor for the next thirty minutes. Delphine squeezes Cosima closer when she knows it’s time for her to go and she can feel Cosima grip her arm tighter.

“Don’t leave,” Cosima pleads faintly.

Delphine hugs Cosima closer and kisses the top of her head. “I’m sorry.” Delphine releases her grip on Cosima and stands up. She moves into the living room and picks up her purse. Cosima stands in front of the door that leads to the hallway outside.

“Delphine, please,” she begs.

The taller woman looks down at Cosima and brings a hand up to her cheek. She strokes it gently, swiping away the tears that won’t stop falling. Delphine lowers her head and catches Cosima’s lips between hers. It’s gentle at first, but becomes deeper, more desperate. Delphine breaks away and kisses Cosima’s forehead before moving past her to turn the door handle.

“Don’t forget me,” she whispers, without looking back at Cosima, because she knows that if she looks at her one more time, she may lose her nerve and never leave. “Goodbye, Cosima.”

The door closes slowly behind her and Cosima presses both of her hands up to the cold wood. She answers back for the first time, “Goodbye, Delphine.”

* * *

One month passes and Cosima has a small ounce of hope that she’ll see Delphine on Friday, when she’s due to be there. When she doesn’t show, Cosima’s heart breaks all over again. She becomes inconsolable and can’t finish her shift. She tells Alison that she’s ill and, for the first time ever, Alison doesn’t give her a hard time about it.

A month turns into two and two turns into six. Cosima stops going into work and just sleeps. Felix tries his best to get Cosima to leave the apartment. He invites her to parties, to dinners, anything to get her out of bed, but Cosima declines each time. Mrs. S brings food to the apartment every night, but it almost always goes untouched. 

On a day like any other, there’s a knock at the apartment door. Cosima’s awoken from her sleep. The knocks continue.

“Felix! Door!” Cosima yells out her room. When the knocks continue, she sighs in frustration and rolls out of bed.  The knocks get louder. “Yeah, yeah, I’m coming.”

As Cosima swings the door open, the breath leaves her lungs as she’s faced with the woman who’s been invading her dreams every night for the past eight months, the woman who let her down, the woman who left her.

“Hi.”

 “Delphine? No, I’m dreaming. This is a dream.” Cosima starts pacing around her apartment and slaps herself on the cheek a couple times. “Wake up.”

Delphine steps in and holds Cosima’s hand away from her face. “It’s me, Cosima. I’m here.”

Cosima feels her lips begin to quiver and she melts into Delphine, hugging her close, sobbing into her neck. Delphine cradles Cosima’s head in her hand. They stand like that for a good while, until Cosima hears cooing near the door. She looks over to see a baby stroller at the front door. In her hysterics, she completely missed it.

“Is this…?”

Delphine nods and smiles gently. “Yes.”

Cosima walks over to the stroller and looks in. The baby is wiggling around and Cosima offers her finger. The baby grasps it and holds onto it for dear life. Delphine stands to the side and just watches. After the baby releases its death grip on Cosima’s finger, she looks up at Delphine and finally takes her all in. She notices a small cut on the corner of Delphine’s mouth and frowns.

“He did that?” Cosima asks, pointing at Delphine’s mouth.

“Yes. He found the stuffed dog you won for me at the fair. I was foolish to think that having the baby would end the abuse, but I left him. For good.” She holds up her hand to show Cosima that she was no longer wearing the wedding ring. Cosima inches her way closer to Delphine, taking the blonde’s hands in her own. She lifts one of them up to her mouth and kisses the back knuckles.

Cosima leans up and gently kisses the side of Delphine’s mouth, where the cut is. She takes her hand and wraps it behind Delphine’s neck and pulls her down to her. Their lips crash together and Delphine’s arms snake around Cosima’s body. Cosima darts her tongue out slowly to gauge Delphine’s reaction. The moan that comes from the blonde lets her know that it was a good move.

As their kiss deepens, they move toward the couch; Delphine lowers Cosima down and hovers above her. She looks into the dark brown eyes behind the lenses and leans in for another kiss. She angles her knee between Cosima’s legs and pushes ever so slightly into her core. Cosima gasps and grips each of Delphine’s arms then moves her hands under the blonde’s shirt. Delphine begins rocking faster, pushing harder, until Cosima releases a strained gasp and pulls Delphine down to her and hugs her tight as if to keep her from floating away.

Cosima then rolls off of the couch and has Delphine sit up. She bends down and catches the blonde’s lips in a brief, but purposeful, kiss, then kneels in between Delphine’s legs. She unbuttons Delphine’s pants and peels them down slowly. She kisses Delphine’s stomach and starts moving down her thighs, peppering kisses up and down her inner thighs. Delphine’s breaths become short and more erratic, her hand gripping the back of Cosima’s head. Cosima reaches for the elastic of Delphine’s panties when they both hear the baby fussing in the stroller. Cosima stops immediately and looks up at Delphine.

She says, breathlessly, “We’re going to be dealing with that a lot, aren’t we.”

Delphine smiles and lets out a laugh. “I’m afraid so.”

Cosima stands up and hands Delphine her pants. She walks over to the stroller and picks up the baby in her arms. She coos and tickles the baby’s tummy, rocking it back and forth in her arms. Delphine watches the scene and feels tears forming at the corners of her eyes.

“We’re going to have to buy a crib and a high chair and... so many things.”

“Cosima...”

”I’ll have to beg Mrs. S for my job back. I’ll need to support us somehow.”

“Cosima.”

“Felix isn’t going to want all of us in his apartment. We need to start looking at hou—“

“Cosima!”

Cosima stops her rant mid-sentence. “What?”

Delphine leans in for a kiss. She tells Cosima that they’ll have time for all of that later and that she owns property all over the area. Once her divorce is settled and they’ve split their assets, she assures Cosima that they’ll be fine.

Delphine puts one hand on the baby and the other strokes Cosima’s cheek. Cosima smiles in return. In this moment, they know that they will never have to utter the word ”goodbye” to each other again. Delphine replaces “goodbye” with the only words that will never lose their meaning, words full of promises of a future together and dreams that will never die. Instead of “goodbye,” Delphine whispers, “Je t’aime.”


	5. Memories of a Stolen Place

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is mos def NSFW.
> 
> Thanks for taking the time to read through this. I’m notorious for leaving WIP unfinished, so this is quite an accomplishment for me.

** June 2099 **

Cosima’s eyes flutter open in the morning sun and she tries to shake the cobwebs from her fuzzy head. She had the strangest dream that she went to Dr. Leekie’s lab and agreed to have the procedure done to recall her past lives’ memories. When she reaches over to her end table to grab her glasses, they aren’t there. She looks around and realizes that she isn’t in her room; it almost looks like a hospital room – white walls, white sheets, a big window on the east wall.

In a slight panic, she jumps out of bed and finds her glasses on a small table near the door. She places them on her head and looks around. She slowly turns the handle on the door. It opens and she gives off a sigh of relief. She peers out the door and down each end of the hallway. As she’s about to leave the room, she feels the breeze on her backside and realizes she’s still wearing a hospital gown. Cosima closes the door and searches for her clothes, which are folded neatly on a chair next to the small table. She gathers them up and begins dressing.

She puts on her shoes and just as she’s about to leave the room, the door swings wide open. Helena is standing there, gripping a syringe in her hand.

“You are awake. Good. Dr. Leekie is waiting.”

“Hey, Helena, was there a blonde woman at the procedure?”

Helena cocks her head sideways. “I am blonde.” She tugs at her hair.

Cosima shakes her head. “No, I mean, another blonde. A taller blonde.”

Helena shrugs and motions Cosima to follow her. “Follow.”

They walk out of the room and down a series of hallways. They arrive at Dr. Leekie’s office and Helena leaves them.

“Ah, Cosima! Welcome back. I hope you—”

“What’s going on?” Cosima interrupts. “I saw Delphine there at the procedure. I know it was her.”

Dr. Leekie sighs. “You are perceptive.” He pushes a button on his phone. “Delphine, my office.”

Cosima doesn’t know what to make of any of this. Has Delphine been lying to her this whole time? She already knew Leekie?

When Delphine walks into the office, she sees Cosima and her smile fades once she sees how angry Cosima is. She’s seen that look before – the hurt, the feeling of betrayal. Delphine walks up slowly.

“What the hell, Delphine?”

Delphine looks full of regret. “Please, let me explain.” She tries to reach out to Cosima, who recoils from her touch.

Leekie interjects. “Cosima, Delphine came to me, because she was desperate to get you back. She told me that you erased all of your memories of her after the two of you had broken up. She, along with your coworkers Felix and Scott, attempted to recall your memories, hence your vague dreams, but it wasn’t effective enough. You still didn’t remember. My job was to recall your past lives, to show you that each encounter was always you and Delphine. Together. Your love transcended time.”

Cosima can’t believe what she’s hearing. Everyone that she thought she could trust betrayed her and lied to her. They messed with her mind without her knowing. They invaded her dreams and memories.

Through tearful eyes, she looks up at Delphine. “How could you? It was my decision.”

“Cosima, please.”

“I never want to see you again – in this life, or any other.”

Delphine grabs the sides of Cosima’s face and the touch triggers more memories, but this time they’re as clear as day. No more shadows. Cosima sees herself in an apartment with Delphine and she’s furious. She accuses Delphine of being paid to watch her, of lying to her. She sees Delphine and Leekie together, Leekie is embracing her and kissing her neck.

She sees herself lying down in a chair and Scott is there, asking if she’s sure she wants all of the memories removed. Cosima tells him yes, she wants Delphine gone. She then sees Delphine bursting into the room, begging Cosima not to go through with it, that she loves her and will never love anyone else. Everything that she did was to protect her. Cosima turns her head away, not able to look at Delphine. She tells her to go and that she wishes they had never met.

The vision switches to the two of them standing outside of a restaurant. The winter chill in the air makes it so every breath gives off a puff of foggy condensation. Cosima tells Delphine that she understands why she did the things she did and apologized for forcing her hand and blaming her. They share a kiss and Delphine leaves.

She then sees Delphine holding a baby on her lap and Cosima has her head rested on one of Delphine’s shoulders. Her heart is so full of love and adoration. She finally feels at peace.

Now she’s sitting on a bed. Cosima coughs up blood and knows she’s sick. Delphine is there, looking worried. Cosima is administered a stem cell treatment and she knows her time with Delphine is limited. Her time with Delphine is always limited. All she does is leave. So, this time, Cosima decides to leave first.

Then they’re back in the apartment. Cosima is packing her things and Delphine is standing there watching, deflated. Cosima says it’s not working and she can’t continue having a relationship with a coworker. She doesn’t want to hide anymore. Delphine tries to protest and says that they’re meant to be together. She tells Cosima they’re soulmates and she can prove it. Cosima ignores her and continues packing.

She sees Sarah in her room, helping her gather anything that might remind her of Delphine. Cosima pulls her journal out of her drawer and flips through the pages. She starts reading through some of them and rips them out, throwing them away in a trash bag. Sarah tries to talk her out of it, saying that she’s being too harsh and should think about it more, but Cosima won’t listen.

 Cosima is then faced with every incarnation of Delphine – the scientist at DYAD, the nurse, the wife, and her Delphine from the current timeline. They all look at her with loving eyes and whisper, “Je t’aime.”

Cosima finally pulls herself away from Delphine, she bends over and sobs wrack her body. Delphine stands there, helpless. It takes everything in her not to run to her side. Cosima remembers everything – every time Delphine claimed to love her, every life they shared together. But the pain of being deceived and lied to time and time again is too strong. That’s all they ever do, lie to each other. Cosima leaves the office without a word. She runs to the elevator and pushes the button, but it’s taking too long, so she descends the stairs. As she walks past the receptionist’s desk, she hears Krystal yell at her that she needs to sign out, but Cosima doesn’t look back.

She heads toward the train station and arrives just as her train pulls up. Cosima finds an empty window seat and allows herself to cry. She spots Delphine out the window, looking for her, but the train is already pulling out of the station and it makes Cosima cry harder.

The conductor announces Cosima’s stop and she gathers her belongings and steps off the train. She’s not sure where to go. If she goes home, she’ll have to answer to Sarah; if she goes to work, she’ll have to confront Felix and Scott. Cosima lets out a long sigh. She decides to meet this thing head-on. She texts Sarah, Felix, and Scott and tells them to meet her in her office at SMRG.

They all arrive at around the same time, Sarah wearing a visitor’s badge. Cosima is sitting at a round table, waiting for them. Scott looks at the other two, nervously. The three of them sit down and join Cosima at the table. Sarah cuts through the awkward silence.

“What’s this about, Cos?”

Cosima sits up in her chair and tosses her memory chip onto the table. It’s the chip that holds all of her extracted memories.

“I know about Delphine, and I know you all had something to do with it.”

Scott rubs his forehead. “Cosima, let us explain.“

“Explain what? That you all lied to me? That you went against my wishes and manipulated my brain without me knowing? I wanted her _gone._ ”

“Come on, Cos. Listen to yourself. You still had a connection with her even after you forgot about her and she came back after a year,” Sarah argues and holds up the memory chip. “Seriously, the fact that after all this time, through all of these lifetimes, through alternate universes, you two always end up together. You can’t just ignore that.”

Cosima shakes her head. “No, no. This was _my_ choice. Mine.”

“Cosima, you can’t keep running from your problems. It may have been your choice, but it wasn’t the right one.” Felix contests.

Cosima clenches her teeth. “Maybe not, but now I’m stuck remembering everything. I have all of these memories in my head and they won’t go away. There’s never been a successful double extraction before, so you guys have screwed me.”

The door to the office opens slowly and Delphine walks in hesitantly. Cosima throws her head back and groans. She forgot to revoke Delphine’s security access.

“May I speak with Cosima alone?” Delphine asks.

Sarah, Felix, and Scott stand up to leave. Scott announces that they’ll be right outside. Once the door closes, Delphine switches her attention to Cosima, who is avoiding eye contact.

“Cosima, I… I know what I did was wrong. And I know you have no reason to trust me ever again, but please believe me when I say that I did this, because I love you.”

Cosima scoffs. “You love me? If you loved me, you would have let me go.”

“You _erased_ me! I had no say.”

Still unable to look Delphine in the eye, Cosima answers, “I had to.” She stands up with the intention of leaving, but Delphine cuts her off.

“No. You don’t get to run away again.”

“Get out of my way, Delphine.” Cosima spits.

“Admit it, you felt something even after you had your memories removed.” Delphine holds one of Cosima’s hands up to her chest. “We’re connected here. No matter where you go, I’ll be there, too. No matter what lifetime, I’ll follow you.”

Cosima can no longer contain her tears and they flow freely. She feels her heart shattering over every past she and Delphine shared; she feels it shattering for thinking that she could forget the love of her life/lives, her soulmate. She can barely even remember the reason why they broke up in the first place, but she knows that she made a mistake.

Delphine pulls Cosima close to her body and lets her cry into her shoulder. Cosima whispers, “I’m sorry” over and over and Delphine shushes her, telling her that it’s okay and that she’s got her. When Cosima calms down, she wipes her face with the sleeve of her shirt and is finally able to look Delphine in the eye.

“I’m so sorry,” Cosima whispers.

Delphine shushes Cosima once more, sealing it with a kiss. She pulls away slowly and studies Cosima’s face. There’s a knock at the door and Scott peeks in.

“It got quiet, so we wanted to make sure no one was murdered.”

Cosima laughs and extends an arm. Scott, Felix, and Sarah all join in on a group hug. “I love you guys, but if you pull something like this ever again, I’ll kill you in every single lifetime we share.”

* * *

 

It’s been a couple weeks since Cosima regained all of her lost memories. She and Delphine have been taking things slowly and only meeting casually outside of work. Delphine still works at SMRG with Felix and Cosima and Scott are still working extractions. Cosima decided against partnering up with Dr. Leekie. She decided that it was too dangerous to expose the masses to past lives. Brains are fragile and overloading them with memories may cause people to lose track of their realities.

One night, Cosima invites Delphine over after work to discuss some research they’ve been working on. Excited at the prospect of spending extra time with Cosima outside of work, Delphine agrees.

She arrives at Cosima’s apartment. Before she can even knock, the door opens and Cosima is standing in the doorway.

“I heard the elevator,” she explains after seeing Delphine’s puzzled look. She moves aside and allows the other woman to walk past. Delphine breathes in all of the scents and it smells familiar. It’s a mixture of weed and incense, but it’s comforting. They sit down on the couch and Cosima puts her laptop in her lap. She begins explaining what she’s been working on to Delphine. Delphine just looks at Cosima, watches her wave her arms around enthusiastically. Cosima pauses.

“Oh, sorry, I’m talking a lot, aren’t I,” Cosima looks down and grins sheepishly.

“Not at all,” Delphine replies, curving her lips into a smile.

Cosima takes a deep breath and lays her laptop onto the coffee table in front of her. She turns to face Delphine. Unsure of her next move, she lifts a hand up to Delphine’s cheek and strokes it. Delphine brings her hand up to meet Cosima’s and they hold their position. Cosima’s heart is beating so fast and, before she loses her nerve, she moves in to kiss Delphine. Their lips fit together perfectly, moving in unison. Cosima nips at Delphine’s bottom lip and can feel her breaths becoming more intense. Delphine swipes her tongue across Cosima’s and Cosima loses the last bit of control she was holding onto.

Cosima lifts the hem of Delphine’s shirt above her stomach. She stares at the area of her ribcage, just below her right breast.

“What is it?” Delphine asks.

“You got shot in a past life,” Cosima replies and points at the area. “Here.” She leans down and kisses the phantom gunshot wound. She feels Delphine suck in a breath and tense her muscles. Cosima’s kisses continue down to her stomach, to where her jeans block her path. Cosima deftly unbuttons and unzips Delphine’s pants. She moves her hand under Delphine’s underwear and slides a finger through her wetness. Delphine gasps loudly and lifts her hips to meet Cosima’s touch. She’s holding onto the back of Cosima’s neck for dear life. She pulls Cosima down to meet her lips and lets out a guttural moan when she feels Cosima rub her clit.

Cosima kisses the skin behind Delphine’s ear and rakes her teeth down her neck. The heat in her stomach builds and builds as she rotates her hips to match the motions of Cosima’s hand, until Cosima allows her the release she had been waiting for. Her breaths become labored as she comes and Cosima is right there with her, watching her facial expressions, falling in love all over again. When Delphine opens her eyes, she notices a tear in the corner of Cosima’s eye.

“What’s wrong?”

Cosima wipes the tear away. “I was just thinking that I almost lost you.”

Delphine pulls Cosima down to her and kisses her hard. Her thumbs rub each of Cosima’s cheeks. “You could never lose me. I told you, wherever you go, I’ll follow, even if it’s in another life.”

Cosima lays her head across Delphine’s chest and feels it rise and fall with each breath. She can’t remember a time ever feeling this safe. All she knows is that she and Delphine have lived countless lives together and they always found each other. Their souls, or consciousnesses, or whatever it is, are tied together by an unbreakable bond and Cosima now realizes that everything that has led up to this moment was designed by fate. She leans up on one arm and looks down at Delphine’s face, committing it to memory for the thousandth time. It’s her turn to take it all in, to break her chest wide open and expose her heart. She leans down and kisses Delphine’s forehead, then her cheek, and finally her lips. She whispers the words that she’s sure she’s said many times, and words that she will continue saying as long as she has a body and a voice.

“I love you.”


End file.
